You Are a Force


Recently, a woman came into my job. As I opened my mouth to speak to her, she said to me, "Wow, you are such a force! Like, you have an incredible presence. I was not expecting to be greeted with a spirit and presence like yours when I walked in here today." I was stunned as I murmured a thank you, and we moved quickly into a meeting. But her words have stayed with me, months later. 

You see, when she said that to me, I was feeling particularly broken. I've blogged openly about my life in the last few years here in Chicago, so you know part of my story. Sometimes, when I'm in a particularly low place mentally and spiritually, I'm just trying to make it from point A to point B, until I can get back home and hole up in my room, away from the world. This was one of those days. I was just trying to make it. Then, in walks this beautiful, vibrant woman who took one look at me and saw a kindred spirit. She saw something in me that I couldn't see for myself at the time:

My brokenness couldn't hide my strength.

Sometimes, we forget that we have power. Sometimes, we forget that we have presence. Sometimes, we forget that we have the potential to change the atmosphere.

Sometimes we forget that we are beautiful, smart, and cherished beyond belief.

Sometimes, we need to be reminded that we are capable. We are brilliant. We are strong. We are loved beyond measure.

So girlfriend, I hope you move through this week with power, and know that even when you don't feel it, you matter. You are worthy. You are a force 

Fully Present


"Wherever you are, be all there." - Jim Elliot

When I began my blogging break back in July of this year, it wasn't intentional. I didn't say to myself, "You know what, life is happening and I need some time away." The break happened naturally. I didn't necessarily need time away; I could have been blogging. But I chose not to. In fact, there were several times that I would start a blog post, only to drop it because the timing didn't feel right. On one hand this is because I experienced some life transitions (which I'll talk about below). On the other hand, I also had some thinking to do about what I want this blog to be (which I'll also talk about below). It is a platform that I don't take lightly, so I care about what I say, how I say it, and more importantly why I say it.  

What I did instead of blogging was give myself permission to be present in what was happening in my life at that moment. And what I learned along the way is that: 

Allowing yourself the chance to be fully present, even if it means stepping away from other things, is the best way to be unapologetically you. 

I had some incredible experiences over the last few months - from meditation retreats in the forest to fancy birthday dinners, I have been living! I have also been learning. And taking the time to not blog, to not try and instagram every beautiful moment, has allowed the moment to just be beautiful. And I needed that time. While I may not have been blogging these last few months, I never stopped writing. I never stopped gathering inspiration and wisdom, which I hope to share as I start posting again. Most importantly, during my break, I'm happy to say that I've been living my motto every. single. day. -"Becoming Myself, Unapologetically."

Life Transition
So, like I said, I've seen some changes in the last few months (all good things!). 

First, I got a new job back in April, and my work schedule changed in May, then again in August. My hours were doubled (yay for more money and more experience! nay for being too tired for anything else) then they went back to normal. This coincided with my academic pursuits to better understand leadership, human behavior, and transformational change. I am advancing my career, professionally and academically. I look forward to sharing more of what I learn here on this platform! Step by step, I keep getting closer and closer to becoming Dr. Pam - heyo!

Second, I moved! And I legit love my new home so much.

Third, I got siiiiick. Like, sick sick...like, in the hospital kinda sick. So, that took me out the game for most of September. I'm happy to report that I'm much better now, and I learned a lot through illness. Maybe I'll do a post on that, as well.

PSA - lots of things remain the same in life, though: I'm still head over heels in love with my incredible partner (hey baby, I know you're reading. Thank you for always supporting my dreams!), I still love football & basketball, I've still been watching all the movies (SO excited for Moana and Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them!!!!), I've read soooo many books, my family & friends are amazing. Some things don't change, and that's awesome ♥

Blog Transition
During my break, I also thought a lot about my blog. I think this is partially because my computer gave up the ghost and I lost a lot of potential content. But I'm happy this happened, as it helped me to really think about the future of Unapologetically Pam. I've talked before about how I refuse to align myself to any particular genre. However, I do want to align myself with purpose. The thing about being unapologetically you is that being all of yourself encompasses many categories - to me, I cannot be defined by one genre because the core of who I am, my true identity is composed of many different pieces. And I want to represent as many of those pieces as I can here on Unapologetically Pam. But one thing must remain true with each piece - becoming myself, unapologetically. And while becoming myself, I want to always ask with each post, "How does this help someone else?" 

I want there to be purpose behind each of my posts.

Essentially, from here on out, each and every post - whether on life tips, relationships, fashion, food, travel, whatever it may be - has to answer two questions for me: 1) In what way is this unapologetically me? And 2) How does this help another woman become unapologetically her?

This unfortunately means that there won't always be a new post - as I'm out here living my purpose and fighting for my own convictions and beliefs, sometimes there won't be time to write. But when I do write, please know that there will be substance behind it. And most importantly, there will be truth.

Happy to be back, loves! Looking forward to sharing more of the journey ☺

Rooftop Sunshine


Chicago rooftop parking lots are so great for pictures. The views are great, but there's not too many people around to bother you while you snap away.

Top: Target  |  Bottoms: Forever 21  |  Bag: Target  |  Jewelry: Forever 21 & Discovery  |  Cardigan: Target  |  Shoes: Payless

Just a quick word of wisdom before I go, remember this: there's always more than one way to get to a destination. Follow your own path to greatness.


Unapologetically,
Pam xoxo
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